Loves Labours Learned

No call. No contact.  So accusatory. I just didn't know what to say to end it. I feared your vitriol.  See how it goes.  You love how a woman looks when she is pregnant.  Why is my decision never my own?  Honed by a life of saying yes and constant control I sometimes don't even  know what I want.  Don't change your hair for me. Not if you care for me.  Letting my hair down and being me. 

Reconnection.  High hopes.  Excitement.  Doubt. Always doubt.  But what if?  What if I didn't get let down?  What if you made me happy?  What if something worked for once?   It's hard not to get my hopes up but I'm so low. None of my loves are coming back and the wind whispers that it's time to move on.  I will knit and listen to music and go to work tomorrow. And I will be comforted with the idea of you.